Three on Porch

Three on Porch
20"x16"

Your kids leave home, and they come back, and they leave home, and they come back. And even though they are much taller and faster and sharper than you now, they still have a grain or seed of that child who lived with you long ago.

painting group

On Thursday evenings I host a painting group in my home. People arrive at 7:00 and work until 9:30.  They are at all levels, but everyone has a playfulness to their work. I feel so energized by their creativity, and they treat me like a queen. If you would like to join us, send me an e-mail.

Welcome with Stairs

Welcome with Stairs
36"x36"
The Boonville Hotel has a beautiful stairway by its front door, which was the initial inspiration for this painting. But what then? I painted a party in the next room, kids running down the stairs, various women coming in the front door, but settled for something quieter. Thank you, Johnny, for letting me come and be inspired at your inn.

Dance Party #2

Dance Party #2, triptych
12"x42"
I used to wonder when Chagal would have dates on his paintings that would span multiple years. Maybe he kept pulling old paintings out of the racks to push them farther. I love doing that. Sometimes I end up completely repainting them, which makes my family angry. On this painting the older version is on the bottom, the newer one on top.

Mountain Path

Mountain Path
16"x20"
I went to Yosemite a couple weeks ago. I was flooded with memories of a trip there in college with friends. They taught me I'm never alone. 

Quite Safe, Quite

Quite Safe, Quite
20"x16"
A very personal painting, done to remind myself that I am safe and loved. A valentine.

Dancers, Red Room

Dancers, Red Room

One night after a potluck dinner, we pushed the table to the side of the room, and everyone danced. I scooted around and shot photos, one of which became this painting.

Come a Long Way

Come a Long Way

This painting went through several evolutions--a little house at night to a broken down car on the side of the road to me being carried safely. At each stage I am totally present on the journey, coming to a place of hope.
One of my first painting teachers told his class, "If you're going into painting as therapy, forget it!" I think he was wrong.

Arms Akimbo

Arms Akimbo
19"x11"

I have a new gallery! If you are in the Elmwood district of Berkeley, please drop by The Collector at 2950 College Ave. My paintings will be there until March 2, and we're having an opening on Feb 13 from 6:00 to 8:00. If you'd like to meet up for an early dinner beforehand down the street at Shen Hua, let me know. I'd love to see you.

Hard Shoes to Fill

Hard Shoes to Fill

 

 

 

 

My dad had a ritual of always polishing his shoes on Saturday mornings. I remember him teaching my older brother how to use the buffer and rags.
A few weeks ago, my brothers and I packed up Dad's bedroom. In the back of his closet was a pair of reddish brown wingtips, worn at the heel. I brought them home and did this painting of them. He is here, but he's not. So intimate and personal. An emptiness remains.
Dad died on Thanksgiving Day. After leaving the hospital, my brothers and family came here for dinner. I invited my older brother to sit in Dad's place at the head of the table, but he just covered his face with his hands and refused.

Solace

Solace
18"x15"

Maybe 10 years ago, I was approached by a thin, tight-lipped man at an open studio. Russell left me his card, and I visited his shop in Hayes Valley, San Francisco. Zonal was crowded with suede sofas and funky furniture rescued from midwest homes, and on one wall he had an impressive collection of Canadian mountie figures that he refused to sell.
It was the start of an amazing partnership. Over the years, I would pull up and double park with a carload of panels, which always seemed to attract every meter maid in the City. If I could find parking and linger a bit after unloading, Russell always wanted to know about my kids, and he'd give me updates on his "mini-me" nephew up in Canada. When my son moved to Boston, Russell gave him a warm wool coat from his own closet.
Many times when Russell would hand me a check for a sale, it would be just enough to cover some big bill that was looming. And if one of Russell's collectors came and bought from me directly, I'd write Russell a check, and more often than not he'd say, "This will help with the rent." There almost seemed a kind of holiness about the transactions.
Last Valentines Day, Russell asked me to do a solo show of all types of couples. It was a stretch for me, but I was pretty happy with the results, and the sales were amazing. Just in time, too--I spent Feb 14, 2014, in the hospital, and my bill was neatly covered by the Zonal show.
Zonal closed its doors last week. I double parked one last time on Hayes Street and loaded 30 paintings into the back, gave Russell a hug on the curb, and pulled back onto the Bay Bridge. Russell, you are one of a kind. You will be very missed.
To read more, go to http://hoodline.com/2015/01/after-24-years-zonal-will-close-its-doors-this-month

Vantage Point #2

Vantage Point #2
36"x46"
I am in a show called "Serenity" at the UCSF Women's Health Center at 2356 Sutter St., San Francisco. My work is on the 5th floor. It is up until April 14, and we're having an opening next Wednesday, Feb 4 from 5:30 to 7:30. I hope you can come!

Safe Arms

Safe Arms
12"x8"
I just want to be in a safe place, wrapped in confident arms. If I paint it, maybe I can remember.

Together

Together, 20"x20"

Another prayer painting for a couple who are very dear to my heart going through hard times. Blessings on your family, your daughter, and your grandsons. I wish I could do more than paint, but maybe today that's enough.

Golden Thread #3

Golden Thread #3, 10"x36"

When my children were little and my husband was out of work, I read them "The Princess and the Goblin" by George MacDonald. Through the story, the princess follows a golden thread, given to her by her wise Grandmother. "In a hundred directions she turned, obedient to the guiding thread..."
A dear friend just lost his job. I'm praying he'll find that golden thread.

Still Waters

Still Waters, 20"x20"

Throw it down! Throw down the oars! Just do it! What's the point of paddling all the time? But am I alive if I don't?

Dancing Fool

It's good to dance regardless of the circumstances...

Flowered Armchair

Flowered Armchair
12"x12"

"Oh, how cute! She's playing peek-a-boo!" Well, actually, it's one of those comfort paintings, after my dad died. Just made me feel better doing it. But if someone sees playfulness in it, that's good, too.

Life Drawing

Tuesday night life drawing. About 20 people gather at Sebastian's house in West Oakland every week from 7:00 to 9:00. Wonderful music and a steady buzz of conversation make it different from other life drawing groups. The caliber of the other artists is quite intimidating.

Trailer

Trailer
36"x46"
I'm not sure what this one is about. Beauty in limitations? Something more vast than my smallness?

no fear of heights

If you're an artist, people assume you are more skilled at climbing out on ledges and hanging garlands at Christmastime. At least that's the way it is at my church...

I Can Fly

I Can Fly
10"x12"
Am I the only person who gets anxious when I travel? I always clean the house before I go, just in case I die on the highway or in the air. I don't want my brother to have to enter a dirty house. I did this painting before a weekend away, and I didn't worry about someone finding the mess later.

She's Yours

She's Yours
8"x12"
Another one of those prayer paintings, putting my daughter into God's hands. I could paint one of these everyday.

All I Need

All I Need
25"x11"
Such a broad vista, just when I was feeling so hemmed in.

Candle Lit

Candle Lit
24"x24"
Light in darkness. Safe harbor after a twilit forest. Circle of friends when you need them most. Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out to me after the death of my dad. You all are truly a light in a dark wood.

Out of My Hands

Out of My Hands

Another attempt at letting go of things I have no control over...

Hold Tight

Hold Tight

 

 

 

If you painted God, what would He or She look like?

Letting Go

Letting Go

 

When I painted this, I stopped worrying about an especially large and troublesome bill. Somehow painting my prayers hits me on a much deeper level.

Good Hands

Good Hands
14"x8"
I started compulsively worrying about someone I love, so I painted putting her into God's hands. Without realizing it, the anxiety lifted, and I felt so light. 

Beach Embrace

Beach Embrace
20"x16"

I could spend all my time painting embraces. There I am in a darkened studio, light focused on the panel on my easel, and as I paint the couple entwined, I can feel the arms around me.

Crossroads #5

Crossroads #5
20"x30"

This is based on a trail at Patrick's Point. I was hiking with family, and when I paused at a fork in the trail, they all exclaimed, "It's a Carol Aust painting!" Art and life intertwine. Themes reoccur again and again. We all have our turning points. Everyone on that hike had decisions to make. The job of an artist is to make story of random events, to put them all together and say that our lives have meaning and poetry.

Headlights

Headlights
24"x45

This painting went through many evolutions--a dinner party, kids playing crack-the-whip, a big group approaching a car. In the end, I had to paint my happiest moment, the end of a trip, knowing I made it, and being greeted by a tight embrace.

Sign

Sign
24"x60"

The debate at my house is what the sign should say. I tried various captions but then decides to leave it blank. Any suggestions?

Visual Prayers

Beach Kiss
10"x12"

When I miss my kids, I do paintings like this. I think they kind of become visual prayers, yearnings I can't put into words.

Whispers
14"x8"

That intimacy of a whisper, skin brushing your cheek, a quiet sharing that results in a knowing nod, a touch.

Where magic happens

Now this is where the magic really happens--an old clinic table with a broken leg, used label sheets on a clipboard, and hundreds of dollars of Golden's paint.  I mix a lovely pink with zinc white, titan buff,  naphthol red medium, and quinacridone/nickel azo gold.  Dioxazine purple and green gold make a deep, deep brown.  Sometimes if I don't know what to paint, I just fill the pallet and wait. The early indoctrination of having to always clean my plate before I leave the table still works.

Torch

Torch 36"x36"

The idea for this painting came to me at a political meeting in an East Oakland church. I sat in the front where all these young activists were springing to their feet and applauding. I felt a little out of place, but I loved their passion, and I sketched this painting on a pew card.

Art Pregnancy

There's something so overwhelming about a white panel or an blank canvas. I have to approach them sideways, stockpiling big quantities so they aren't too precious and covering them with bright base coats so some decisions are already made. They are daunting but also full of promise, an artistic pregnancy. Many thanks to Galen who takes my orders, builds them in an unheated workshop in Nevada, and drives them down.

Birthday Cake in Red Room

Birthday Cake in Red Room
30"x20"

This was a hugely challenging painting. It started with a sketch I did in Annette's dining room, but the people were all wrong. Thank goodness acrylics are forgiving. I repainted the people multiple times, added a cake, got someone to look away, added highlights.  I kept having to make funny faces in the mirror by my easel in order to get the mouths right. All this in order to create a painting where I'm remembering  those I love who are far away.

Woman in Doorway

On Tuesday nights I go to a life drawing group in West Oakland. It's in a dicey neighborhood, a nondescript house, packed with artists of all ages. They sit on old sofas or the floor or stand in the back at tall tables. Sebastian plays an amazing collection of music, and people chat as they draw the models. One of my drawings made its way into this painting.

Blue Bathroom

I had a magical time with a friend down by LA. Four days at her little cottage by Venice beach, sketching and checking out the galleries. Thanks, Kari.

Hillside Sunset

My daughter is going to college in the fall, two states away. I'm so excited for her but a little sad, too. I think I'll be doing a lot of paintings about her and us this summer.

Story by Firelight

It's summer. I have camping gear all over my dinning room table. Need I say more?

Another painting leaving home...

Another painting leaving home... This one was a gift from a grandmother on her granddaughter's 16th birthday. Letting go deepens the work; it's no longer about my story. Thank you, Anne!

Lighter Than Air, triptych, 12"x48"

Yesterday I went through old Kodachrome slides with my dad and brothers. Somehow this one wasn't among them.

Homecoming #2, triptych

Another triptych where I'm trying to contrast being home with where I've been.